'He's not your son!': Sister-in-law decides to name her unborn nephew behind the mother's back, family fallout ensues right before Christmas

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 21, 2023 7:00 PM EST

With every holiday season comes the struggle of spending too much time with your family. Even worse is having to spend too much time with your in-laws. 

I don't know what it is about in-laws that creates such a universal bad feeling so many people can relate to. And on top of all that, the stress of the holiday season tends to bring another level of conflict into the mix. This year I have convinced my partner to go on a holiday and spend Christmas in a hotel just the two of us because I couldn't handle his family drama, and I'm sure we won't be the only ones getting away from our families.

This Redditor will also probably ditch the Christmas plans with her in-laws, and I don't blame her. She shares on Reddit this unbelievable story about her sister-in-law, which might make you appreciate your own family. The sister-in-law decided it was her job to name OP's baby before he was even born. She stated what the name was going to be, and even made stockings for him with that name engraved. Now OP is refusing to come to Christmas dinner until she changes it, and the rest of the family isn't sure on whose side they should be. 

Scroll down to read the full story and the interesting discussion it brought on in the comments. And click here to read about a small photographer who stood up to a big corporation that was using him.

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  • 01
    AITA for refusing to attend my inlaws' christmas unless SIL removes the stocking that has a different name than the one I chose for my unborn son?
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 02
    To preface, I (F) have been with my husband Todd for 3 years. He has a son (9) from his late wife. Todd is pretty close to his sister Monica. Their mom's d and Monica has basically d taken over. She's nice to me and all but she seems to be a bit controlling especially when it comes to Todd. But
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 03
    that wasn't a real issue until after I got pregnant. After we found the gender of the baby (boy) she insisted on the name "Tommy" but I refused because I already had a name in mind and Todd loves it but he chose to stay out of the
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 04
    fight saying maybe we should just let Monica call him Tommy. I refused and asked her to please respect me and the fact that I'm the mom not her and she said okay.
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 05
    Like always, she's hosting christmas for the family this year and invited me and Todd to christmas dinner. I was intending on coming that is until I'd discovered that she hung stockings with her kids, nephews, neices names
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 06
    and hung a "Tommy" stocking saying that it's for my son. I was livid. I lost it on her and there was a huge fight. I told her I won't be coming to her christmas dinner if she doesn't remove the stocking or put the real name and then I left. Todd started yelling at me
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 07
    when we got home saying that I was attempting to ruin an important family tradition by refusing to come and said that I was overreacting and cannof be telling his sister what she should or shouldn't do in her own home. He tried to convince me to come but I said no.
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 08
    Not until she removes that stocking and it doesn't look like she's going to do it cause he spoke with her and he's now mad at me for "making a huge deal out of it". Her husband Philip who's usually nice to me called yesterday saying that he spoke with
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 09
    Todd and he'd be devastated if I cause "the family" to miss the event at Monica's house and ruin it not only for the adults but for the kids as well since my stepson loves spending the holidays with his cousins.
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 10
    Todd has been quiet and the only way we communicate is through Philip. I feel ashamed. Maybe I overreacted. AITA?
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 11
    Edit# to answer someone's question, no, I did not ask Monica to put a stocking for my son (she said it was for my son) It was her decision although I find it weird since the baby isn't even born yet.
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 12
    AWholeNewFattitude · 18 hr. ago Wait, was there ever a Tommy? Like her Dad, or a child she lost? Or did she just arbitrarily like that name better and started calling your son that?
    via u/AWholeNewFattitude
  • 13
    Dear_Beyond8984 OP · 18 hr. ago -edited 18 hr. ago No. No Tommy in the family...totally random name which makes me even more confused as to why she's so hung up on it. Makes no sense honestly.
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 14
    _A-Q 18 hr. ago Partassipant [2] Because it's a power play. This is your husband's sister way of telling you that Todd will always take her side.
    via u/_A-Q
  • 15
    Now that you're having his kid, she wants to make sure you know that SHE'S the one who calls the shots.
    via u/_A-Q
  • 16
    Please start setting up some kind of birthing plan that does not include you husband because he will let his sister into that delivery room and control everything.
    via u/_A-Q
  • 17
    18 hr. ago Primary-Criticism929 Commander in Cheeks [234] At this point, I'll start to make à plan to get the out this family.
    via u/Primary-Criticism929
  • 18
    becoming_maxine 18 hr. ago. edited 18 hr. ago Aficionado [11] ΝΤΑ I have to admit I'm kinda mean and if Todd attends doctor appointments with you I would tattle to the doctor about all the stress your husband and his sister are putting on you over labeling your son with a name that
    via u/becoming_maxine
  • 19
    isn't the baby's. I suggest you tell your husband you are done socializing with the in-laws until his sister starts therapy for her obsession. If she wants a child with that name she either needs to have another child or adopt.
    via u/becoming_maxine
  • 20
    As I said I am kinda mean, I would adopt a zoo animal. We got to name the one we adopted. Call it Tommy. Give her the adoption/donation papers and pictures to her for Christmas. Then whenever she refers to Tommy ask her questions about her zoo baby.
    via u/becoming_maxine
  • 21
    cagriuluc 18 hr. ago Philip should really talk to his insane wife instead, NTA.
    via u/cagriuluc
  • 22
    Dear Beyond8984 OP - 18 hr. ago Yeah you're right. He even sometimes call her crazy infront of the whole family. She'd take it as a joke but I felt the seriousness of this word whenever it came out of his mouth. But still, he thinks she's in the right so
    via u/Dear_Beyond8984
  • 23
    Quick-Store2989 - 18 hr. ago Just bring your own stocking with child's name on it and then call all her kids sally and Ralph since we get to pick the names we prefer for other peoples children.
    via u/Quick-Store2989
  • 24
    LaLionneEcossaise 16 hr. ago Start calling husband, SIL, and SIL's husband by different names. "Hey, Norbert! Hi, Gertrude! Hello, Myron!"
    via u/LaLionneEcossaise
  • 25
    Commercial-Push-9066 You know that after the baby is born she will always call him Tommy. She'll tell people that's his name. Husband needs to put a stop to that! . 17 hr. ago
    via u/Commercial-Push-9066
  • 26
    mohicansgalore · 18 hr. ago NTA. But please go to the party and then play REALLY dumb and hurt that there is no stocking for your child. You: „Oh, I see you forgot my baby?!" SIL: ,,No, look, here is your baby's stocking." You: "Nope, that's for someone
    via u/mohicansgalore
  • 27
    called Tommy, not my kid. Who is that Tommy btw; I would like to meet him one day." SIL: "That IS for your son!" You: "Lol, you're so silly; I do not have a kid called Tommy! My son's name is [insertnamehere]. Or are you
    via u/mohicansgalore
  • 28
    trying to say my husband already has another son??? (Shocked face - turn to hubby). Is that the truth??? You already have another child? And you never told me?" SIL: "No, Tommy is BOTH your son; the one that you
    via u/mohicansgalore
  • 29
    are pregnant with!" You (worried face, turn to rest of family: "Is SIL ok? Did she fall on her head? Why would she possibly think my son is called Tommy? Maybe some childhood trauma causing delusions?” SIL: "I WANT him to be called Tommy!" You (still
    via u/mohicansgalore
  • 30
    addressing the rest of the family): Why else would she think she is the one to name the child I am birthing?!? I mean, I get she's really REALLY close to my hubby, but that is a bit out there... (turn I, she IS unwell.
    via u/mohicansgalore
  • 31
    back to SIL): Anyway, you mentioned there is a stocking for my baby. Where is it; I don't see it?" (if needed: rinse & repeat ;)
    via u/mohicansgalore

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christmas family drama festive aita holiday season drama sister-in-law reddit story advice in laws problems family stockings marry christmas Reddit holidays
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